Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Now who's showing some bad behavior?

My mother-in-law is not amused right now. She's forever trying to refine my kids - probably because they take after me. The toddler said (very proudly) "I just farted, mommy!" MIL said, "Tooted. 'Fart' is not a nice word. Little girls don't say 'fart'." With hands on her hips the little shit looked at my MIL and said very matter-of-factly "It was LOUD, Nana. It was a FART." Score one for the little shit.

Fast forward a few days later...

The mother-in-law is fuming. First we had the whole "toot vs. fart" thing over the weekend where my toddler scored some major (fart) points. Tonight I told the little shit it was bath time so she stripped down naked in the living room and yelled "Nana, can you see my butt crack?!" Luckily I was in the kitchen and able to disguise my loud guffaw with running water and a ill-timed cough. The Dickhead started laughing until his mom started in on how ugly that was and what bad manners my toddler was displaying. Then he started getting on to our toddler. Now hold the fuck up! The little shit was only repeating something she heard one of us say. And I guarantee "butt crack" was a lot less worse than the night before when the MIL said the Dickhead needed a butt plug for all of his tooting. And of course last night the little shit was running around all night saying "butt plug" while Nana cackled. You can't laugh at one thing and get mad at her for the other. Now who's showing some bad behavior?

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