Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Intro to a Bitch's mind

After reaching more than 30,000 fans on Facebook I've decided to jump into the blogging world. My Facebook fans are already aware that I'm used to speaking my mind and saying what I want. In fact, it was my Bitch fans that encouraged me to start blogging. Apparently I have a lot to say even when others don't want to listen. Or do. I'm not entirely sure there. Either way, I guess this will serve its purpose.

Just to give you a little insight into me...I spend a lot of time laughing in my mind about a lot of things. Really, the most interesting company I keep is myself. Does that surprise you? It shouldn't. I'm fucking funny. My brain works like one might imagine a coked-up monkey would. It's all over the place. One minute I'm making fun of someone, then thinking about sex. The next minute I'm committing homicide in an extremely creative way, then thinking about sex. And in another minute I'm judging someone. Probably even flinging mental shit at them. Then I'm thinking about sex. Based on part of my thought process (sex), I probably should have been born a guy. But let me tell you, I'd have been the bitchiest man you'd have ever met.

In fact, you could say I've perfected the art of bitchery. So much so that some fucking idiots don't even realize I'm being a bitch. It's kind of like perfecting the art of sarcasm, but in a way that will really sting the hell out of a person once they get it. Other times I'm such an outright bitch that the person under attack, and even bystanders, will shrink from my fury. I'm not ashamed to say I've made people cry.

However, it's important to understand that being a "bitch" doesn't mean you are fucking heartless. I'm a strong, proud woman. I have compassion for those that are being wronged or are in less-than-fortunate situations. I will stick up for the underdog. I teach my children - who I often refer to as little shits or even little BITs (you work that one out) - to be kind, considerate, passionate and independent. I won't apologize for the way I live my life or the values I instill in my little shits. One day they will grow up to be some fierce Bitches just like their momma.

With all that in mind, let the bitchery begin!