Tuesday, June 4, 2013

I cuss like a fucking lady!

I love to cuss! There. I said it. In case you didn't know before, well, now you do. Asshole. Shitbag, fuckity uppity judgmental twat sitting there with your ankles crossed, your head held high, staring down your nose at my crudeness. Good for you with your boring goody goodness and stupid wholesomeness. I'm sure you're a god dammed riot in the sack. "Oh, Johnny, put it in me. Touch me there...yea, pound my pee hole! Can I hold your love stick?" I hope you like missionary position, because that's the best fucking you're going to get with that boring personality. Meanwhile, Johnny's hiding in the bathroom fist-pumping away to the porn on his smart phone.

I shit you not, it's been tried.

Obviously bad words flow from my mouth like verbal diarrhea. Some have tried to stop the leakage, but they usually throw their hands in the air and walk away in disgust...but not before I've gotten in their heads and mouths and caused them to toss out a few expletives of their own. I'll be honest...that brings me great joy. Knowing I've gotten to someone that way. I love rubbing off on someone - and not just in a sexual way. *wink*

Seriously, why the hell do cuss words bother people so much? Repeat after me: words are words made by man, they have no bearing on life other than the enjoyment they give (me) to say them.

I especially love that word FUCK. I fucking love the shit out of the word "fuck." I'll throw a "fuck" or two into a business meeting like the guys do just to see eyes bulge. Why does it bother people? Because I'm sitting there in my business suit, with my perfectly done hair and my manicured nails, looking like someone that should be sniffing flowers rather rolling in the mud with the boys. Who says it's not lady-like to cuss? I'm a fucking lady, dammit!