I haven't posted yet about the Ray Rice "beating the
fuck out of his then fiance, now wife" incident, but those of you who've
been with me since the early days of this page know how I feel about domestic
abuse and the shit stains who put their hands on their spouse, partner or
children in anger.
I've watched in amazement and disappointment over the last
few days as friends in my newsfeed have blasted Janay, the victim, and said she
deserves what she gets since she decided to marry the fuckwad anyway, and she
deserves no sympathy.
Wrong. No one ever, let me fucking repeat myself, EVER
deserves to be beaten. To be kicked, punched, spat on, mentally, and
emotionally broken down until they can see no way out. That kind of ignorance
that I saw in my feed of blaming the victim and judging her for being in that
situation—yes I call it fucking ignorance—is what allows scum shit like Ray
Rice and other abusers to isolate their victims. LOOK at Janay's face in the
press conference where Ray Rice apologized for his actions...to the public, but
not to Janay. LOOK at the fear on her face.
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| AP photo found on WBAL News Radio 1090 |
Domestic violence is NEVER ok. I grew up in a home with
domestic violence. I watched first hand how my mother tried time and again to
leave my stupid sack of shit asshole douchebag stepfather that beat her, me and
my little sister, Scrub. I watched that motherfucker throw knives at her, pull
a shotgun on her. I watched my baby sister get tied up like a fucking hog and
gagged when she was a toddler so "daddy could enjoy his peace and quiet
while mommy was gone."
I was there when my mom tried to ask for help and was turned
away. By her own fucking family. She married the asshole and needed to learn
how to control him. Yeah, how fucked up is that shit? I was there when the
police officers wouldn't take her beatings seriously. I was there when my mom
would hide her bruises. I was hiding mine along with her. I was there when my
mom felt she had no goddamn way out. I was there each time she attempted to
leave and got beaten down even more.
Did you know it takes ON AVERAGE seven attempts for an abuse
victim to leave their abuser successfully....or wind up dead.
I was there when mom kicked him out for good. I was there
when that psychotic fuck came with a knife and gun and cut our fucking phone lines
so we couldn't call for help, and he went around trying to break into our
house.
Just the other day my mom called to tell me the fucking nut
job had died. You know what I felt? After years of wondering if he would catch
up with us? After years of avoiding using my maiden name and protecting my
identity as much as possible in public forums like social networking sites? I
felt RELIEF. Relief for my mother that she wouldn't get anymore surprise phone
calls again from him after repeatedly changing numbers...even after getting
remarried. Relief he wouldn't some day show up where I live. Relief my kids and
my sister and her family were safe. My next thought was "I hope he
suffered." I hope he suffered painfully in his death. If there is anyone on
this earth that I can honestly say should burn in a hell of lava shit, it's
him.
You. don't. know. what a victim has been through emotionally
and mentally. Oh, you wouldn't put up with that stuff? Good for you. Have a
motherfucking cookie, sit down and shut the fuck up for a moment. Open your
eyes to something other than the sheltered fucking world you know.
When I read those statuses judging Janay, blaming her for
"her part in this" by staying with a feces covered dick like Ray
Rice, I was angry. That fear on her face? I saw it day after day in my own
home. I wore that look myself. After taking some time to think about what my
friends had written, women I consider kindhearted which made it even harder to
swallow the shit they wrote, I knew I needed to break that ignorance they had
displayed.
I hope this posts gets through to as many of you reading it
as possible. Share it. You don't know who in your newsfeed is dealing with
abuse. You think you know what someone else is going through? I guarantee you
don't know half of it.
Domestic violence is never okay. Help break the cycle. Don't
empower the abuser and isolate the victim.
Resources for victims and survivors:
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