Life isn't fair. You gotta work for that shit.

Two weeks ago Teen Shit found herself in some deep doo doo. Just before the end of the school quarter I got notice that she had been goofing off and not turning in work. Normally an A and B student, she had one F and two D's. 

Oh. Hell. Nah!

Apparently, Teen thought turning 13 meant she was hot shit and could give zero fucks about school work. Dickhead and I sat her down and we had a 'pull your head out of your uber-privileged ass and put your nose to the grindstone to bring those goddamn grades up or fuck going to California on spring break with the rest of the family' talk. We told her she would spend her spring break with her dad and step-mom while we spent days on the beach, went to Hollywood and Disneyland.
 
Her mouth fell open and she started crying it wasn't fair. Wrong fucking thing to say to this Bitch. I don't give two flying fucks about Teen's definition of fair. I don't give one flying fuck. Not a single fuck is given. 'Not fair' is her fucking up our already paid for family spring break trip by jacking off and being a little fucking asshole not doing her school work. 'Not fair' is explaining to Little Shit and Baby Shit why their older sister wasn't going to be making sand castles with us.
 

I gave Teen one fucking chance to turn her shitty attitude around. She had to work her ass off for the trip. All the homework she had been ignoring had to be turned in and she had 1 week to get it all done, bring up the low grades and maintain her remaining decent grades or the only vacation experience she was getting would be through the pictures of our fabufuckinglous time on the west coast. 

Last Friday was the end of her school quarter. This coming Saturday we fly off to Orange County. I pulled up the parent portal yesterday and saw where the little fuck must've reached far up her ass to pull the F up to a B, and the two D's to C's. Teen asked me last night if I had seen her grades....and was she going to vacation with us. I let her sweat a little before I gave her the nod and told her the hard work paid off. But if she pulled that shit again this next quarter and let her grades slip then there wouldn't be a last minute scramble - she'd miss out on our summer trip. 

I'm not fucking around. Teen is in 7th grade. Each year gets harder and I'll be damned if she thinks she is entitled to everything we do as a family. My fucking kids don't get shit handed to them on a platter...all the time... They have to fucking earn it and earn the right to keep it. Hopefully Teen's lesson is learned. But she is a teen so I'm not holding my muthafuckin' breath. I will be holding a wine bottle though.