Thursday, April 16, 2015

Teen has always been a daddy's girl and I'm okay with that. My ex is an idiot - which is why we are divorced - but I've never felt the need to badmouth him to her. Parents that do that to their children deserve a cunt punt or junk punch. I always figured one day she'd finally learn who her dad really was. Unfortunately, that day came sooner than I had expected and Teen and I had a sad conversation recently. 

Ex-asshole and Teen were watching TV one night while step-mom was out running errands when the #LikeAGirl commercial came on. Ex-asshole smarted off that girls can't do anything boys can which ticked off Teen but she thought he was just joking around. She smarted off back at him and things got out of control from there. Her dad began yelling at her and telling her that women shouldn't play baseball because they'll throw out their shoulder pitching or get beaned by the ball or break an ankle. Teen pointed out (with an eye roll) that girls play fast-pitch - even her mom and step-mom played in high school. Ex-asshole yelled that women can't play football because they'll end up in the hospital with concussions, broken bones and whatever else. Teen pointed out the flaw in that logic as well since men end up with the same injuries. 

But this wasn't the worst of it. 

The asshat actually said women shouldn't be in politics or leadership roles - that it's what is wrong with the country and business. He told Teen (spit flying as he screamed and his face turned red in anger) that women are too emotional to make good decisions. Teen pointed out that he was pretty damn emotional at that moment which pushed him over the edge. (Side note: I'm so proud of Teen for realizing the irony of the situation, and yes, I'm proud of her for pointing that shit out.)

According to him, women are meant to mind the household and take care of their family. That is their purpose in life. Men are the leaders. Men are the providers. Men are the bosses of their home. (Again, this is just one of the reasons why we are divorced.)

In tears, our daughter asked him how he could believe that women shouldn't be more than moms, shouldn't have dreams, shouldn't aspire for things in life, why he didn't want more for his daughters if they wanted more. He yelled at her that he wasn't going to support the "hippy dippy ideas that women can do more" that she gets from her mom. Teen has never seen him so angry. He continued screaming at her and began throwing stuff around and slamming it down and eventually he sent her to her room for disrespecting him. 

The next morning Teen and step-mom were out running errands. Step-mom brought up the argument, saying ex-asshole had filled her in when she got home. He wanted step-mom to tell Teen that "as leader of the home, he could have handled the discussion better." She then proceeded to tell Teen that she supports him in what he said. This upset Teen even more. She asked step-mom how she could agree with all that her daddy had said when she (step-mom) is a leader at work as the head of her division. Step-mom told her that her Ex-asshole didn't even want her to accept that role but after lengthy discussions they decided she could do it. She encouraged my daughter to accept this frame of thought. 

My daughter has been distraught over this turn of events. She has finally seen a side of her dad that she didn't know. To top it off, ex-asshole hasn't attempted to make any form of an apology to her. Putting his wife up to a halfhearted "I could have handled that better but I'm right" is a pussy ass move. At this point, they are barely speaking and things are tense when Teen is with her dad. 

In all of this, I'm proud of my daughter. 

I'm proud that she is strong enough to realize she has value past the small-minded traditional women's roles that her dad sees set in stone. 

I'm proud that she knows she can be a stay-at-home mom if she wants. She can go into politics. She can do any damn thing she wants. 

Most of all, I'm proud that Teen stood up for herself. That she questioned what someone else wants her to believe about herself. 

She's going to be a strong Bitch.

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