Friday, January 31, 2014

Was my casket selfie tasteless? Zero Fucks Given

We buried my 102 year old Grandma today. As my little sister and I stood there at the open casket, talking and with tears running down our cheeks, I commented on how beautiful Grandma looked. Then I pointed to the bright red polish the funeral home had painted on her nails.

"Grandma would never have worn that color. She'd have said it's reserved for harlots...while looking pointedly at my hands."

My little sister sniggered and quickly covered it up so family members wouldn't get offended.

Then I asked, "Would it be inappropriate for me to get a selfie with Grandma?"

My sister turned to me with a horrified and indignant look on her face. And then her mouth started quivering. I thought "oh hell, she's actually pissed." And then she busted out laughing.

We fell into each other, hugging and laughing and crying. I'm sure everyone thought we were insane. But guess how many fucks I gave. That's right! Zero.

After a quick glance around the room I stepped up to the casket, leaned over to Grandma and pulled my cell phone out for a selfie. I had to take a couple to get the right angle.

When I turned back to the room I noticed my 25 year old nephew watching me with a strange expression on his face. I walked over and asked him if he thought I was weird for taking a selfie with our Grandma's corpse. He replied that it would only have been weird if I'd posed her hands first in a peace sign or gang symbols.

So I asked, "Then it's cool that I arranged her hands into 'I love you' in sign language?"

To which he roared with laughter.

It's awesome when family members understand you.

I love you, Grandma! RIP but give them hell.

Now, here are some selfies at inappropriate places

Looks the most like the one I took of me and my Grandma

Found at Selfies at Serious Places

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