Monday, December 9, 2013

I'll take a Brazilian and some fries with that, fuck you very much



After having my vajayjay and ass hair savagely ripped out with a quick Brazilian wax, I went through a drive thru for lunch. I was feeling pretty sassy, as one typically does when relishing in a hair free cooter, and immediately after placing my order the Lily Allen song "Fuck You" came on from my iTunes. I cranked the volume up and pulled up to pay.

 Video: Fuck You

Shaking my ass to the beat, I rolled down the window and handed over my credit card singing the chorus "fuck you, fuck you very very muu-uh-uh-uh-uch." The shocked look on the worker's face snapped me back to reality of what was coming out of my mouth.

But with zero fucks to give I hit the arrow on my steering wheel to crank that muthafucka up even more. I just hope like hell that my ZFG attitude didn't result in some herpes-infested ass clown rubbing the meat patty over their crusted lip, causing me to wind up with an STD. If I get mouth herpes I may very well give a fuck.

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