Tuesday, June 4, 2013

I cuss like a fucking lady!

I love to cuss! There. I said it. In case you didn't know before, well, now you do. Asshole. Shitbag, fuckity uppity judgmental twat sitting there with your ankles crossed, your head held high, staring down your nose at my crudeness. Good for you with your boring goody goodness and stupid wholesomeness. I'm sure you're a god dammed riot in the sack. "Oh, Johnny, put it in me. Touch me there...yea, pound my pee hole! Can I hold your love stick?" I hope you like missionary position, because that's the best fucking you're going to get with that boring personality. Meanwhile, Johnny's hiding in the bathroom fist-pumping away to the porn on his smart phone.

I shit you not, it's been tried.

Obviously bad words flow from my mouth like verbal diarrhea. Some have tried to stop the leakage, but they usually throw their hands in the air and walk away in disgust...but not before I've gotten in their heads and mouths and caused them to toss out a few expletives of their own. I'll be honest...that brings me great joy. Knowing I've gotten to someone that way. I love rubbing off on someone - and not just in a sexual way. *wink*

Seriously, why the hell do cuss words bother people so much? Repeat after me: words are words made by man, they have no bearing on life other than the enjoyment they give (me) to say them.

I especially love that word FUCK. I fucking love the shit out of the word "fuck." I'll throw a "fuck" or two into a business meeting like the guys do just to see eyes bulge. Why does it bother people? Because I'm sitting there in my business suit, with my perfectly done hair and my manicured nails, looking like someone that should be sniffing flowers rather rolling in the mud with the boys. Who says it's not lady-like to cuss? I'm a fucking lady, dammit!

4 comments:

  1. Same. Though if I didn't get such a SHOCKED reaction to my swears they probably wouldn't be as much fun.

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  2. LOL my friend related a story about her 3 year old having taken a keen liking to the word "fuck". She would toss it into sentences and since her mother was of the school of thought that you ignore bad behaviour and praise good, she wouldn't make a big deal about the word, and had explained this desire to others, including her mother...who would totally FREAK when this little girl would say fuck. My friend would patiently say to her mom "yes, mom, she said fuck, but I don't give any attention to it" and her mom was "oh, yes, yes, I know...but did you HEAR what she said!!"

    Finally, in a quiet moment, when they were alone, her daughter was playing on the floor and said "fuck".

    "Why do you use that word, darling?" she asked.

    Her daughter replied "Because it makes people act soooo WEIRD..."

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    Replies
    1. That is the BEST! Sounds exactly like something my Little Shit would say. Love it!

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  3. Well, fuck me. This sure contained a lot of profanity. I said 'a lot', but not enough.

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