Monday, February 4, 2013

Don't be a shitty parent

You know what I think is shitty parenting? Allowing your child, who doesn't even meet the age requirement of 13+, to have a Facebook account. First, you've taught your child it's OK to lie about their age - on the internet. Way to go, dipshit. Second, not even monitoring what your child is looking at on Facebook. Come on parents! Facebook makes it extremely easy to spy on other people's activities with little effort - it shows up right in your damn newsfeed!

The Tween has a friend (I'll call her Nelly to protect her) who signed up for a Facebook account when she was 10 years old. The mom rationalized to me that it was because she was tired of Nelly logging into her own account to play games, and she didn't want her daughter to see inappropriate things. Nelly's mom helped her set up her account and suggested me as a friend for her daughter. Not smart! The posts on my personal page are geared to a more mature audience since my friends are exactly that - mature. Because I wanted to be front and center when this stupid fucking idea backfired, I accepted the friend request and immediately assigned Nelly to a list that would never see my status updates. Eventually another girl in our little group of friends talked her mom into letting her join Facebook. And that little girl also sent me a friend request. Another child accepted and added to the special list with Nelly. How do you think this went over in my house? The Tween repeatedly asked me if she could have an account "because all of my friends do!" Uhm...hell to the fuck no!


Nelly is now about to turn 12. I've watched her online activities for almost 2 years now. It started out innocent enough. Over the last 6 months I've seen her behavior change. She apparently has figured out how to add people to her own special lists because her mom isn't seeing her status updates, which tend to be very suggestive in nature. Nelly has added over 200 friends. Many of which appear to be older. These may be friends of her parent's, just like me, but if so her interactions with them are inappropriate. Also, I often see that Nelly has liked pages with names and content that compete with my own "Bitch" is a Lifestyle. I see her sharing their photos and commenting on adult humor. Granted, those page admins should have set age restrictions as I have done in the Lifestyle, but the ultimate responsibility falls to Nelly's parents. Where the hell are they? Why aren't they monitoring what their child is doing? Even if they don't see her status updates, they can still see her activity. Are you slightly curious as to how Nelly lists her education in her "About" section? She apparently attends the "University of Sexy".

Guess who started talking to my Tween about sexual things? You bet...Nelly. I found the texts on my daughter's phone. When I told the mother, she laughed it off and then said it wasn't as bad as I made it sound. She also tried to deflect fault on me for “snooping” on my kid. Oh hell no! Bitch, the fucking texts are right there in the incoming messages on my daughter's phone! Just because your kid was smart enough to delete her messages doesn't mean it didn't happen!

For those of you that are going to get self-righteous and say that parents shouldn't "spy" on their children and shouldn't invade their privacy, turn your ass around right now and leave. I don't want to fucking hear it. Parents are meant to guide their children, to protect them and to make sure they're not being introduced to things that take away their childhood innocence. Parents aren't meant to be their kid's best friend. And parents sure as hell shouldn't introduce their child to an environment without monitoring them.

You can bet your ass I know what my kids are doing. I'm raising them and I'm going to make sure they follow my rules. Most importantly, I'm going to make sure I protect them and their innocence as much as I can.

Parents, pull your head out of your asses. Watch your kids. Make sure you know what they are up to. Don't jump into the running for the shitty parent award. You're going to hear it from me the instant your shitty parenting starts affecting my family.

8 comments:

  1. Well I have to say I agree. Kids are growing up wayy to fast, and I blame the parents. My 9yr old is barely allowed to do anything. She was invited to a sleepover I called the mom, said I can come meet you and my daughter can hang a few hours. I could tell she was put off, but I don't know her, her kid or the family. No way! Another example my 17 year old who is a senior in HS was going on a double date, I said I needed to meet everyone, she's like why? Well I need to know who you're hanging out with, who's driving etc...the kids were cool about it, seems like some nice boys so far, but everyone jokes how old school we are. Yes we are, it's called raising your children! I post about my drama queen a lot, she's 15 going on 25, and I can't tell you how many moms tell me to just let her go, do whatever, etc. um, no. Like you said I will protect her innocence as long as I can. I'm not sure how old your kids are but my oldest is almost 20. At 18 she rebelled decided she didn't want to follow the rules anymore. I'm a my house my rules kinda mom so she moved out. It was a very hard 1 1/2 years of her doing things I didn't approve of, but I can tell you once she hit bottom, she moved back home, our relationship is in tact, and she obeys all the rules now! Oh and she was 18! Not 14 doing dumb shit I should be controlling! Keep on blogging! Maybe these parents will wake up! :)

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    1. Thanks One Tired Mama! Sounds like you and I have similar styles. The Tween doesn't like it when I insist on meeting her friend's parents either, but it's either that or a big "hell no!" for doing any activities with them.

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  2. I agree! My kids know until they are 18, not under my roof, and paying the bill I can do what I want which means yes I will read all your texts if I feel like it. Oh and don't try to delete because they are all online. As for Internet I have software that emails me every site you try to visit that is blocked and if you think deleting it hides it nope mama used to work for a ISP I can recover Internet history.

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    1. And that is how you stay on top of what your kids are doing! Keep protecting your kids!

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  3. Thank you! Thank you! Sweet Jesus Christ THANK YOU! You have NO freakin idea how much flack I get because I don't allow my 15 year old to use the facebook page she created and didn't want anyone to know about - or the fact that my ex grandmother in law made a facebook page for my 9 year old and told him and his 8 year old brother to LIE TO ME about having one because I SAID NO!!!

    I check my kids shit all the time - leave your cellphone layin around at my house and out of habit I might even check YOUR messages! "space, privacy, blah blah BULLSHIT" - you can have all that when the 4 walls you live in aren't deeded in MY NAME - until then - I'm your stalker Mom on facebook, check your emails and whatever else I want to because its MY RIGHT and DUTY to make sure *my* kids are doing what they are suppose to be doing!


    I so thought I was the only one left.........

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    1. You keep doing what you have to do, Maygen, to keep your kids on the right track!

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  4. I did all this with my two kids and my stepson. Thank goodness mine at least are thankful now for the kind of mom I am. The stepson still resents me some,, but that it's his problem. I raised him by example and he thought I was too stuffy..He was the only kid that had 3kids by three girls by the time he was 20.He is also the only one that hit rock bottom with drugs. I hope he is doing as well as they claim he is...I don't want my husband hurt again.

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    1. That's sad Angela, but you tried to do what you could. Sometimes kids will buck at every turn.

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