I had an overwhelming urge lately to clean up my friend lists on social media. A lot of it stemmed from being bombarded with stupid ass status updates, but mainly updates that were so hypocritical of who the person really is that I couldn't stand to even see their name. Don't get me wrong, everyone has hypocritical moments. The key to that being "moments". I'm talking about the assholes that are so self-righteously hypocritical that you don't understand how they live one way while talking out of their ass and judging everyone else. That sort of bullshit pisses me off.
A friend of Dickhead's once stopped talking to him for a long while. I'll call this friend "Asshole". Asshole spent a lot of time with us, hanging out at our house, and thought Dickhead didn't pull his weight enough around our home. So he blasted Dickhead as a horrible husband and father - he is neither even though he can be a, well, a dickhead - and went all self-righteous. Yet the same friend's wife and I were friends. She confided in me all the time about their relationship. Believe me when I say their shit stank. And as awful as Asshole was to her, he was still my friend as well and I wouldn't have thought of dumping on him other than when I called him on his shit to his face. But when the asshole decided he "was tired of the way Dickhead treated (me)" they parted ways. I guess you could say "we were on a break".
Fast forward a while later when they re-entered our lives because Dickhead isn't one to hold grudges. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss, make up. Bullshit. All that happened was Asshole tried to treat us both like shit and his wife was buying into it! I guess during our "breakup" he realized how much his wife confided in me, and how much I knew about his hypocritical behavior. She must have been embarrassed for letting the cat out of the bag. It's the only explanation I can come up with for her change in behavior. Asshole turned up the charm (read the sarcasm there Bitches) and acted like a real asshat. For Dickhead's sake in the friendship I tried to bite my tongue, but as many people know that doesn't work well for me and it sure didn't last long. I ended up going off on Asshole and his spineless wife too. By this time I was done with the fake bullshit.
For some reason though, I never deleted either of them from my friend's list. I began noticing a lot of biblical quotes and lovey-dovey quotes on their pages daily and it made me want to fucking barf. Dickhead noticed the same thing. When he read me a particularly disgusting post calling others out on their relationships I had had enough. I proceeded to reply with my comments of their shitty behavior and point out the hypocrisy I saw. Of course my comments weren't allowed to stay up long before they were deleted. I got my "fuck you" in though before I deleted the assholes from my friend's list.
And once I got started, there was no stopping me. I cleaned out the rest of the asshats that I have grown tired of reading idiotic posts from. I didn't make an announcement on my personal page - what purpose does that serve? "Hey, I cleaned up my friend's list and you made the cut!" Dumb. Fucking dumb. It does nothing to let the person that you deleted know your action was done on purpose. Instead, as I deleted each asshole I shot off a little message letting them know. Fuck you, kiss my ass, fuck you, bye bye, walk off a cliff, you suck. Talk about therapeutic!
I don't know about you, but I feel a lot better now.
Ps. I don't recommend this type of therapy for everyone.